Fatshion February, Day 22. Okay, y’all, we need to talk about this outfit for a minute. I love this top, for reasons which should be self-explanatory. Unfortunately, I rarely (read: never) wear it, because it sits right in the middle of my belly, and means that my FUPA is basically, just, there. I was practising poses in the mirror (as you do), and thought, “Well, if I suck my tummy in enough, it’s not so obvious,” and decided this outfit was worth photographing.
It turns out I’m fat, y’all. No tummy-suckage was going to hide the fact that I have fat on my torso. And after looking through all the photos I took, seeing that nary a one managed to hide this, I had a little sad moment. Sad because despite trying really hard to love myself for the last 10 years, there are still parts of my body that I’m unhappy with. Sad because I still have to work really hard to examine what messages I’m internalizing about what’s “flattering.” Sad because I actually think I look really hot in this photo, upon half an hour’s reflection, but I still think I’d change clothes if I had to leave the house.
This shit is hard. But putting it on the internet is a step in the right direction for me.